I am on hubby #3. I don’t have any shame about it. It is what it is. I was too young the first time, the second is the father of my kids and the third is the love of my life.
All that being said, I still view myself as a divorced mom. My hubby is bi-coastal. He has kids in the East and his company is in the East, so he is there for about 2 weeks every month…sometimes more and sometimes less.
The traveling works for us. Many friends and family ask me how I can stand it, but the truth is, if he were here all the time, we would probably kill each other. We have been together for 6 years and married for 1.5 years.
I have been Mr. and Mrs. Mom for almost 5 years. My ex is not what I would call involved. He does take his visitation, but he is absent the rest of the time. It is me and them and them and me and has been that way for a very long time.
Whether hubby is home or not, I feel single when it comes to my kids. Hubby loves them and they love him, but I am Mommy. Mommy is who they go to when they want something, need something, have something, get something and say something. Mommy is who takes them to camp, play dates, parks, zoos, movies, swimming, dinner, shopping.
I can ask hubby to stay with the kids or take them to Birthday parties and take up the slack for me, he does it willingly and with a smile, but it’s the hard stuff. The discipline, the fighting, the whining, the decisions that make me realize I am Mr. and Mrs. Mom.
I know that I am not the only divorced parent out there that feels this way, and I also know that some of you that feel this way are married to your kids fathers, but I still sometimes wonder about that dichotomy of married and single.
Being Mr. and Mrs. Mom has its privileges, just like being an AMEX holder, I get points for being on time with my payments with hugs and kisses and every once in a while a thank you mommy. And, when I am late for a payment I get penalized with whining and crying and sometimes a big huge temper tantrum, but would I cut up this card? Absolutely not!