I have been married for almost 14 years, and have done quite a few things during those years.  This is what I have learned.

The first seven years I lived in Houston, Dallas, New York City and San Francisco.  I dropped out of college to be with my husband who had already graduated.  During those seven years I went to Hawaii every year and attempted to play golf on some of the best Golf Courses around the United States.  I owned my first house in those 7 years.

I started battling with pesky pre-cancer dysplasia on my cervix and in the end had part of my cervix removed.  I had my retina’s detach and surgically re-attached.  I had mono for the second time and was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I had artificial insemination 12 times and Invitro fertilization once in those seven years and there were no children.

During the next 5 years, I had my daughter and my son.  I owned my second home and started building my third home.  I stayed in Houston, but moved several times, ending in a leased house that was very small while the building was taking place.  I was religious during those five years.  Going to temple every single Saturday and observing Shabbat.  Keeping a kosher home.  Celebrating all major and minor Jewish Holidays.

I was a tennis mom during the day, and spent most of my time lunching and tennissing with my friends.  I had full time help and my duties as a wife and mother were minimal.  I started a very successful high end consignment store during those five years.  I did pilates twice a week every week and cooked dinner almost every night.  I had a Mastiff named Cocoa Puff.  I spent every vacation in the Caribbean.

For the past 8 months, I have been living in my fourth house.  I own a lot that will never be built on.  I have a nice life.  I spend lots of time with my kids, only having someone cleaning 1.5 days a week.  I have two Great Danes.  I don’t travel much and am involved in my kid’s school.  I rarely get a babysitter.  I have had a complete hysterectomy and been put into surgical menopause.  I have once again reinvented myself.

My husband spends most of his time in another city with his other family, which I am not a part of.  My kids and I have a routine that works for us.  We are happy most of the time.  I am pursuing my dream and more importantly allowed to pursue that dream.

I have been married a total of almost 14 years….to three different men.

Sarah Bates

During my 5 years in the divorce industry, I gained a lot of knowledge.  Knowledge of the court system and how it works, knowledge on how to let go of the anger, knowledge on how to communicate and most importantly, knowledge on how to empower power people to stay out of court.

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