THE WISE MAN


I will write quite a few posts about what the wise man told me, as he was full of advice, some good and some not so good.  And, since I was going to focus on him, I thought it might be wise to tell you who the wise man is.

While I was going through my divorce and for a short time after it was final, I was out in the dating world.  I dated a man who I liked to call my “six week standing date”.  Why did I call him this?  It seemed he only called me to go on a date every six weeks or so.  He did call occasionally in between these dates to dispense his nuggets of wisdom and to let me know how things should be done…according to the wise man.

This man was quite a few years older than me and had been divorced for well over five years.  He had three children, all quite a bit older than my two kids.  He was good looking, tall and had excellent manners.  None of these things made him good long term dating material, or even the type of person that I would ever introduce to my kids.

He was the type of guy who would lay in the lounge chair and read the paper while the kids played in the pool.  He even referred to himself, when categorizing the types of men out there.  So, as you can see, that was not what I was looking for.  He also only took me out every six weeks, as he was afraid he would be the rebound guy and did not want to be first man I went out with after my divorce was final.

As much fun as I had with this man, he was not my ideal partner.  He was self absorbed and thought that only he knew best.  I recognized my ex husband in this man immediately, but he was nice, and it got me out of the house.  He made me feel good…pretty…and at the time, I needed to feel pretty.

When the dates tapered off, it wasn’t my fault or his.  He was set in the six week routing, being a creature of habit, and I was ready to have more fun than just every six weeks.  He also did not like the fact that I was out having fun with others during his weeks off.

It never occurred to me to introduce him to my children or family.  But, what I did learn from him was very important.  I learned what I was looking for in relationship.  I learned how to choose differently than I had in the past.  And, I learned all these little bits of wisdom that I can share with you, my readers.  So, for this, I thank that wise man.

Embrace.  Acknowledge.  Empower and heal.

Sarah Bates

During my 5 years in the divorce industry, I gained a lot of knowledge.  Knowledge of the court system and how it works, knowledge on how to let go of the anger, knowledge on how to communicate and most importantly, knowledge on how to empower power people to stay out of court.

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